Parent Prep

My parents are
visiting for
::deep breath::
I’m excited and
Excited because we rarely
share the same
space anymore
Only a handful of
times since I
moved out at 15
Stressed for very much
the same reason
I’m preparing my home
for them
And my mask for
They’re good people
It sounds worse than
it is
My father (step) loves me
I think more than any
other father does their
He came into my life
when I was 4
Abused and then abandoned
by a man who wanted
me aborted
Afraid and quiet
He has always loved
me as his own
He’s helped to collect me
when I broke myself
Tough loved me back
My mother is…
my mother
Well intentions but
at times verbally
Her love sometimes feels
like judgment
To the outside I’m
sure she appears
cold and
And for a very long
I felt those same things
With age and communication
I know that she’s had a
very tough life
Her father an angry abusive
My father the same
We’ve lived much the
same life
She’s watched me be
and almost die
So she worries
She pries
She questions
She holds on to the past
as much as I do
So we tiptoe around
each other in
She’s waiting for me
to fall again
To maybe this time
catch me
But you’ve never needed
anyone. Always so independent

My parents are
visiting for
I’m okay
I can do this
::fixes smile::

2 thoughts on “Parent Prep

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