Parent Prep

My parents are
visiting for
Thanksgiving
::deep breath::
I’m excited and
stressed
Excited because we rarely
share the same
space anymore
Only a handful of
times since I
moved out at 15
Stressed for very much
the same reason
I’m preparing my home
for them
And my mask for
me
They’re good people
Truly
It sounds worse than
it is
My father (step) loves me
I think more than any
other father does their
children
He came into my life
when I was 4
Abused and then abandoned
by a man who wanted
me aborted
Afraid and quiet
He has always loved
me as his own
He’s helped to collect me
when I broke myself
Tough loved me back
together
My mother is…
my mother
Well intentions but
at times verbally
lacking
Her love sometimes feels
like judgment
To the outside I’m
sure she appears
cold and
disconnected
And for a very long
time
I felt those same things
With age and communication
I know that she’s had a
very tough life
Her father an angry abusive
alcoholic
My father the same
We’ve lived much the
same life
She’s watched me be
born
and almost die
So she worries
She pries
She questions
She holds on to the past
as much as I do
So we tiptoe around
each other in
politeness
She’s waiting for me
to fall again
To maybe this time
catch me
But you’ve never needed
anyone. Always so independent

My parents are
visiting for
Thanksgiving
I’m okay
I can do this
::fixes smile::

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