Fetal Position

As a child
when my house was
loud and my father was
violently drunk
I would curl my body
in on itself
Try to make myself
as small as
possible
Close my eyes and wish
to be invisible
I’d replay symphonies
in my head to
drown out their screams
And imagine myself
the daughter in another
family
In another world
In another time
I spent so
many of my
minutes
hours
days
trying to disappear
for my own protection
that it has become
second nature
My default setting in
times of stress
When my anxiety gets
the better of
me
My self preservation
screams for
me to fold in on
myself
To protect what’s important
My heart
Bruises on the body will
heal like they were
never there
but ones on the heart…
You carry those
for the rest of
your life
and some never
scar

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2 thoughts on “Fetal Position

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